Protecting the “I”, Embracing the “We” - Part 2
Hello Everyone:
By now I will assume you have determined if you are a person who needs to protect your “I” or if you like a high level of engagement with the “We” aspect of your relationships. If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, read the posting listed below. We typically will fall in one category or another. However, different relationships will elicit different positions on the continuum. For example, I was in a relationship where my partner needed a lot of “we”-ness. For me, the level of engagement that he required did not match my comfort zone. I spent time and energy in the relationship protecting and preserving my “I” space. In turn, I have been in other relationships where there was not enough of “we” time. In those circumstances I found myself coming forward, wanting less of my own space and more connectedness with the other. In essence, although we tend to gravitate towards one need or another, we will work to create a comfortable equilibrium.
So what determines our own comfort zone? And what creates all the reactivity when we feel out of balance? Here are some possibilities to consider. If you’re working hard to protect the “I”, you may be protecting yourself from being controlled, dominated, or engulfed. If you’re going after more “we”, you may be protecting yourself from feeling alone, abandoned, or rejected. In either case, you’re most likely struggling with some aspect of dealing with yourself and how it feels to be vulnerable with another.
Take this opportunity to see what fears exist for you. See if you can separate your fears and vulnerabilities with your boundaries. Take a look at how protecting the “I” and embracing the “we” shows up in your relationships with others. Be conscious of how and why you react and in what ways you work to restore your equilibrium. In doing so, you generate the freedom to create healthy boundaries in a loving way. Feel free to get the audio perspective and listen to the podcast now!
What are your thoughts on this subject?
We want to know because….Your life matters!
Take care and till next time,
Julie