Decisions, Decisions, Decisions: In Whom Do You Trust?
Hello Everyone:
When we find ourselves in a personal dilemma or needing to make a major decision, most of us will seek the advice, opinions, or experiences of others. The less experience we have in dealing with a particular issue, the more we look outside ourselves to get information and guidance. When we feel stuck, unsure, or confused, it only makes sense to go to others for help. This is not only a natural thing to do, but an effective coping strategy. Most of the time, information or support is gathered, the information is processed, and a decision is made. This sounds simple enough, but in reality, it rarely is. In reality, a whole world unfolds once we transfer our trust from ourselves onto others.
For example, how does one contend with seemingly reliable information from varying sources that contradict one another? What do you do when your friends or colleagues have their two cents to contribute to how you should run your life and you believe that their advice sounds more applicable to their life than yours? How do you effectively hear what people have to say without getting defensive, reactive or simply overwhelmed? There are as many pitfalls to soliciting advice from others as benefits. And in the end, it you and only you that make the decisions that you will need to live with.
So here is my two cents on advice givers and receivers. (1) Yes, there are so called experts in various fields that have a lot to offer and I guess this would include me. However, no one is an expert on you and living your life; that role belongs to you and only you. (2) Friends, family and the like, will have valuable observations, opinions, and suggestions to offer you as they pertain to you and your life situations. However, remember that they are listening and speaking through their own struggles and situations – therefore, they will tend to focus on or project aspects of their own struggles or situations when commenting on you. (3) Decisions are made in different ways by different people, all of which have equal value. People contemplate and make decisions by either what they think, how they feel, what their instincts or intuition tells them, or some combination thereof. Knowing how you and your confidants approach decision making is very valuable. (4) People will sometimes hold others accountable for their own decisions, especially if that someone is an expert in the subject matter or conveys a strong conviction that their advice is sound. No matter what advice you get, you are still one hundred percent responsible for your decisions. It’s as simple as that.
So here’s my challenge for you. The next time you’re feeling uncertain, confused, or simply in need of bouncing something off another, remember to do the following: First, carefully consider what information is being offered, through what context, and from what source. Second, remember that ultimately, each and every decision is owned by you. In the end, you will need to trust your decision and accept its’ impact. Third, know that there is no such thing as a right or wrong decision. There are only decisions and what results occur out of having made them. Some decisions will have results that you deem positive, others will not. That’s just the name of the game. And lastly, consider that sometimes it’s best to go within rather than without in order to make a decision. You may know more than you realize; you may have access to all the information you need by going within and listening to your self. So go ahead…put trust back in yourself. Ultimately, it is your truth that counts; ultimately, it is your decision.
Stay with me and engage in this conversation. Your voice has an impact. What are your thoughts on this subject?
We want to know because….Your life matters!
Take care and till next time,
Julie
For More Information on Julie Orlov Consulting, visit www.julieorlov.com
To add your contact information to our database, go to www.julieorlov.com/contactus
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions: In Whom Do You Trust?
Hello Everyone:
When we find ourselves in a personal dilemma or needing to make a major decision, most of us will seek the advice, opinions, or experiences of others. The less experience we have in dealing with a particular issue, the more we look outside ourselves to get information and guidance. When we feel stuck, unsure, or confused, it only makes sense to go to others for help. This is not only a natural thing to do, but an effective coping strategy. Most of the time, information or support is gathered, the information is processed, and a decision is made. This sounds simple enough, but in reality, it rarely is. In reality, a whole world unfolds once we transfer our trust from ourselves onto others.
For example, how does one contend with seemingly reliable information from varying sources that contradict one another? What do you do when your friends or colleagues have their two cents to contribute to how you should run your life and you believe that their advice sounds more applicable to their life than yours? How do you effectively hear what people have to say without getting defensive, reactive or simply overwhelmed? There are as many pitfalls to soliciting advice from others as benefits. And in the end, it you and only you that make the decisions that you will need to live with.
So here is my two cents on advice givers and receivers. (1) Yes, there are so called experts in various fields that have a lot to offer and I guess this would include me. However, no one is an expert on you and living your life; that role belongs to you and only you. (2) Friends, family and the like, will have valuable observations, opinions, and suggestions to offer you as they pertain to you and your life situations. However, remember that they are listening and speaking through their own struggles and situations – therefore, they will tend to focus on or project aspects of their own struggles or situations when commenting on you. (3) Decisions are made in different ways by different people, all of which have equal value. People contemplate and make decisions by either what they think, how they feel, what their instincts or intuition tells them, or some combination thereof. Knowing how you and your confidants approach decision making is very valuable. (4) People will sometimes hold others accountable for their own decisions, especially if that someone is an expert in the subject matter or conveys a strong conviction that their advice is sound. No matter what advice you get, you are still one hundred percent responsible for your decisions. It’s as simple as that.
So here’s my challenge for you. The next time you’re feeling uncertain, confused, or simply in need of bouncing something off another, remember to do the following: First, carefully consider what information is being offered, through what context, and from what source. Second, remember that ultimately, each and every decision is owned by you. In the end, you will need to trust your decision and accept its’ impact. Third, know that there is no such thing as a right or wrong decision. There are only decisions and what results occur out of having made them. Some decisions will have results that you deem positive, others will not. That’s just the name of the game. And lastly, consider that sometimes it’s best to go within rather than without in order to make a decision. You may know more than you realize; you may have access to all the information you need by going within and listening to your self. So go ahead…put trust back in yourself. Ultimately, it is your truth that counts; ultimately, it is your decision.
Stay with me and engage in this conversation. Your voice has an impact. What are your thoughts on this subject?
We want to know because….Your life matters!
Take care and till next time,
Julie
For More Information on Julie Orlov Consulting, visit www.julieorlov.com
To add your contact information to our database, go to www.julieorlov.com/contactus
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