The Law of Resistance
Hello Everyone:
Resistance can be seen everywhere in our lives. We resist something several times a day, 365 days a year. We naturally resist change, yes even change we seek out for ourselves, and yes, even change we see as positive. We resist feeling any kind of emotional discomfort or challenge. We resist personal growth and development even in spite of the fact that we are wired to do so. Just notice how children behave right before they have some kind of growth spurt (emotional, physical, or psychological). Children will regress just prior to taking a leap in their developmental growth. They will demonstrate behaviors from an earlier stage – for example, they may become clingier, may have more tantrums, or become more withdrawn depending on their coping style and temperament type. As adults we do the same thing, it’s just disguised in adult behaviors. Resistance may show up as being more tired, more obsessive, more demanding, more irritable, less available, etc. In essence, we humans never stop our innate rhythm of resisting and releasing, regressing and growing, hanging on to what is familiar and seeking change.
I believe the common denominator to all our resistance is fear. Fear is a very powerful motivator or de-motivator if you like. Fear is also a very powerful magnet. What we fear we resist, what we resist, we retain. It’s as simple as that. We cannot move through anything until we confront and release our resistance to it. And it is those things in which we resist the most that we have the most at stake. The bigger the resistance, the bigger the cost in holding on; conversely, the bigger the resistance, the bigger the rewards that awaits us on the other end.
I’ll share an example from my own life. During my divorce I wanted to keep my house. I initially resisted the idea of selling my house and moving my daughters to a new and unfamiliar neighborhood. I was in the midst of so much change and so much loss, that I couldn’t bear the idea of one more on the list. After some time and reflection (including looking at my financial situation more closely), I decided it was time to surrender. I let go of the resistance. I chose the loss. In doing so, something new became available. Space opened up. My fear no longer ran my life. As it turned out, selling the house was the best decision I could have made. I found a great house in a great neighborhood and created a new life. I was able to move forward.
This is a simple example of how the law of resistance works. As long as you are still in resistance, no movement is possible. You are stuck and on a one way ride to everything you are avoiding to begin with. Once you embrace that which you resist, including the resistance itself, anything is possible. So here’s my challenge to you. Look at your life. What are you resisting? What are you most frightened of? What areas of your life are not working? Now here’s where you need courage. Instead of resisting, embrace those things with everything you have. Move towards them. Surrender to them. Even if it feels uncomfortable, painful, or scary, envelope yourself in them. Let go of what you know or what you think you know and dive into the unknown. Discover what is now possible. Move forward. More than likely, things will not be as bad as you think they’ll be. Why? Because once we release our resistance, our fear dissolves, our lives expand, and we feel more alive.
Stay with me and engage in this conversation. Your voice has an impact. What are your thoughts on this subject?
We want to know because….Your life matters!
Take care and till next time,
Julie
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