Choosing Your Battles
Hello Everyone:
In discussing attachments, it is clear that we are inevitable attached to certain things. As a parent, I find myself attached to many things that relate to my children – are they dressed appropriately; are they developing good work habits; are they honest and reliable; do they keep their rooms clean and complete their chores, etc. For you parents out there, you know the list – you have one of your own. For those that are not parents, you have other relationships to which this applies and if nothing else, memories of your own childhood.
The question comes down to choosing what battles I want to fight. It is not only impossible to take on the entire list, but would cost me my sanity and health if I tried. Furthermore, and more importantly, it would cost me my relationship with my children or other significant people.
I have come to conclude there is no right list. This is a personal choice and a learning opportunity for everyone involved. I chose the battle of school performance and attitude with my oldest daughter as opposed to her manner of dress and cleanliness of her room. This is what made sense to me. For someone else, manner of dress will be worth the fight. Whatever the outcome, I believe what is important is to spend time in contemplation. What battles are worth it to you and why? Is it really possible to “win” in the end anyways? And with whom and at what cost? In the end, what resulted from engaging in battle? Looking back, was it worth it? How will it affect your choices in the future?
Taking the time to consider your options before a formal engagement will serve you well. You might conclude that somethings with some people truly are worth fighting for. You may find that what you thought you were attached to may not be so important after all. You may also discover that there are ways to declare your wants and needs without creating a power struggle. Hmmm.. another good topic for another time.
What are your thoughts on this subject?
We want to know because….Your life matters!
Take care and till next time,
Julie
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